That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
