Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
