names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
