There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
