So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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