Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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