I can tuck mytits in my pants
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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