My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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