i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
