Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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