I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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