Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
