dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Are we still banned from the library?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
