I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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