yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
false alarm. still invincible.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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