I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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