That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
