Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
