just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize