I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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