so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
