that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
