i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
