Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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