You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
