is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize