I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
