So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize