He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize