my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
