Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
