Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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