what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize