I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
