I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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