So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
