I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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