Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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