I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We're too hungover to prance.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
