The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
