there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
