Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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