Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
