so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
