i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
