Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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