Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
