She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
