Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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