Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
