It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I think i got beer on your cat.
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