I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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