how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
