i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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