She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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