i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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