i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
