he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Come on in and take your pants off
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