did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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