have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
