Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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