So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
