It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
