nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
stop calling my apartment porn island.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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