I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
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