Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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