We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
