i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
whose parrot is this?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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