my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
