My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
